ONE DAY TO GO / THE RED TRICYCLE
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 -- Loveland, Ohio:
Yunhong’s room is ready, painted pink with a dark brown-stained crib and dresser. A string of plastic butterflies – that light up when a switch is thrown – hang from the ceiling. Most of our packing is finished, including food and other supplies for our daughter. We received updated measurements yesterday. She weighs 22 pounds, three pounds more than she weighed a month or so ago when we received our last report.
I (Elliot) love walking by Yunhong’s red tricycle in our basement. I imagine one of my biggest joys in the next year or so will be watching her ride it in our driveway.
Lynda has been the brains and chief executive officer for this adventure. We wouldn’t have gotten as far as we have had she not been so attentive to details, including paperwork, buying clothes and other things for our daughter to take on the trip and getting our daughter’s room ready.
Preparing for this trip and becoming adoptive parents is a little like running for president. If you can withstand the grueling campaign, you’re qualified for the job. For us, dealing with the preparation – including the patience and persistence we’ve shown during the last four years – and now the trip will show whether we’ll be capable adoptive parents.
Our flight leaves 6:40 a.m. Wednesday from the Cincinnati airport. We’re scheduled to arrive Thursday afternoon in Beijing.
THE FIRST NIGHT / WE'VE ARRIVED!
Thursday, October 22, 2009 -- Beijing:
After a long journey, we've arrived in Beijing.
Even before we started,we knew it'd be a long trip. But a five-hour delay at Newark International Airport made it even longer. We had a smooth trip from Cincinnati to Newark, but due to maintenance issues, Continental initially delayed our departure by three hours. Then, Continental delayed the departure again. And as our pilot was about to pull away from the gate, all air traffic stopped at the airport for security reasons. Air Force One was about to land.
The bottom line: It took us 29 hours to make it from our home to the hotel. We left home at 4 a.m. Wednesday Ohio time. We arrived at our hotel at 9 a.m. Thursday Ohio time.
During our wait at the airport, we met our traveling companions, Paul, Laurie and Hannah van Genderen of Burlington County, New Jersey, who also are using the Welcome House adoption agency. Hannah is a beautiful four-year-old girl, adopted three years ago from Guandong Province. The family is adopting another girl, this one from Shanxi Province, the same province where our daughter lives. They will name her Ella. We'll be continuing to travel with Paul, Laurie and Hannah to Shanxi Province and meet our daughter in the same room where they'll meet their new family member.
At the airport, we also discovered another couple heading to China on an adoption trip. They're from Florida and are using a Virginia adoption agency. They already have three biological children, the youngest being 11. They're adopting an 11-year-old girl from Hunan Province.
We're staying in the Beijing Hotel on the widest boulevard I've ever seen. It's a modern high-rise building where only foreign dignitaries once stayed, a few blocks from Tiananmen Square.
We realize this report is late. We haven't been able to access our website or blog because the Chinese government is blocking such sites. We'll keep trying to figure out a way to get into them. Meanwhile, we'll send daily email updates. We'll get some photos to you as well. And we'll try to catch you up on what we did our first two full days.
Of course, the most important day is still more than a day away. Monday is when we meet our daughter.
DAY ONE / ADOPTION? WHAT ADOPTION?
Friday, October 23, 2009 -- Beijing:
Our Beijing-based adoption coordinator and guide, Li Xinghong, encouraged us to relax during our three days in Beijing -- to not think about our adoption. We should rest, she said, to prepare for our exhausting first week with our daughter. Of course, it's impossible advice to follow. But Beijing did distract us -- in a good way. It became our time to learn about Chinese culture and customs -- to understand our daughter's heritage.
We started the day at the Summer Palace, the sprawling estate built years ago for the royal family. At a government-run silk factory and store, Lynda shopped for clothing for Yunhong. There, we bought a beautiful royal blue dress. We ate lunch at a typical Chinese dumpling restaurant. Afterward, we took a half-hour rickshaw ride. Our driver pedaled his way through a hutong, a traditional Beijing neighborhood with housing clusters built around courtyards. These are being demolished to make way for denser housing. Then for dinner, we ate at a famous Peking Duck restaurant.
Li, our guide, also teaches education students at a Beijing university. Her husband is a "big boss" for the Chinese government. Her 26-year-old son is a graduate student at Stanford University. She said that if Chinese law permitted it, she would have had five children. But in the 12 years she's worked here for Welcome House, she's helped with the adoption of about 500 children of American couples. About eight have been boys. Li says, "I have one son, but I have many daughters."
Here is a photo of Lynda shopping for silk clothing for Yunhong with Li, our guide.
DAY TWO / THEY'RE STARING
Saturday, October 24, 2009 -- Beijing:
We embarked on a two-hour drive from Beijing to the Great Wall. On the way, we stopped at a jade store. Lynda bought a green ring, earrings and a pendant. She will wear the ring and eventually give all the jewelry to our daughter.
The Great Wall is, indeed, spectacular. We walked on a section on the top of a hill that's probably 1,000 feet high. We used a gondola to get up there. None of us could figure out how people brought the building materials up the hill. Even with today's equipment, it would be a monumental task to build the 6,000-mile wall.
At the bottom of the hill, dozens of vendors blocked our way down the path, trying to sell us souvenirs: hats, photo books, posters and T-shirts that say "I climbed the Great Wall." No one had shirts that said, "I took the gondola to the top of the Great Wall." I asked. Lynda bought pajamas for Yunhong. The vendor wanted 260 RMB. That's the Chinese currency. Lynda bought the PJs for 26 RMB. That's not a misprint; yet another reason I married Lynda.
During our sightseeing with Paul, Laurie and Hanna, Chinese folks have frequently stared at four-year-old Hanna and her parents, looking at her Chinese face, then at her Caucasian parents, then back at Hanna. We're prepared for the same reaction once Yunhong becomes our daughter.
Two days until we meet our daughter!
Here are photos of us atop the Great Wall and with Hanna.
Our technical problems are continuing. The Chinese government is still blocking our website, blog and now Lynda's Yahoo group.
DAY THREE / FROM THE NATION'S CAPITAL TO THE PROVINCIAL CAPITAL
Sunday, Oct. 25, 2009 -- Beijing to Taiyuan:
It took more than an hour to tour The Forbidden City, a walled compound where Chinese royalty once lived -- and we only saw a portion of it. This is where the movie, The Last Emperor, was filmed. Our tour led into Tiananmen Square in the heart of Beijing, where a huge photo of Chairman Mao looked out over the area. We ate lunch in a typical Dim Sum restaurant, eating a sampling of a half-dozen dishes, including chicken feet and rice stuffed in lily leaf.
Later, at the Temple of Heaven, a park-like complex of buildings where emperors prayed for good harvests, we saw an endless stream of Chinese tourists, as we had at The Forbidden City and elsewhere. Even if we had passed a million people in our three days in Beijing, it was still only a fraction of the 1.3 billion people in China. We saw hundreds of elderly folks singing and dancing in groups at the Temple of Heaven. One group sang a song in praise of Mao.
Now, it was time to head to our second city, Taiyuan, where we'd meet our daughter the next day.
At the Beijing airport, we underwent one of the most extensive security screenings I'd ever been through. For example, while checking me with a wand, an officer pulled out cheap plastic pens from my pants pocket. He pulled off the pen caps and checked the tips of the pens.
Beijing has a repuation as having bad air quality. Taiyuan is worse. With every breath, I felt as if I had inhaled dust from chalkboard erasers. What had me even more concerned is that Datong, where we're heading Tuesday, is known to have even worse air quality. Our daughter, and millions of other people, breathe this air every day.
Here is a photo of us sightseeing at the Temple of Heaven and outside the Dim Sum restaurant.
Thanks to all of you who have sent such warm, supportive emails. We're doing our best to keep you updated, but our busy schedule is slowing us down.
Go Phillies!
DAY FOUR / THE BIG DAY
Monday, Oct. 26, 2009 -- Taiyuan:
We've heard that couples often meet their new children in groups of a half-dozen or more, leading to a noisy, chaotic atmosphere, with children crying and some briefly being handed to the wrong parents. But our experience would be different.
Laurie, Paul and Hannah met their new daughter first. Hanna wore a shirt that said "Big Sister." We went with them to share their experience and capture it with cameras. We headed to the Civil Affairs Bureau for Shanxi Province, a 10-minute drive from our hotel. We waited for 15 minutes in the quiet office where marriages and adoptions are handled, with Emily, our Taiyuan-based guide and adoption coordinator, and a government employee. Two orphanage workers brought in a large 20-month-old girl with tears on her cheeks, who would be known as Ella. As soon as she entered the room, she began crying loudly. She didn't stop for 15 minutes. Then, she continued crying on and off for the entire time we were in the office. Hannah, a usually calm girl, began crying as well, demanding to be held.
At 3 p.m., it was our turn. As we drove back to the government building, we spotted a child in a woman's arms, getting out of a taxi in front of the building. Some adoptive parents have trouble recognizing their new children. They've changed since their last photo was taken. But Lynda and I recognized Yunhong in an instant. Her hair was slightly longer than we remembered. But she had the same beautiful smile we fell in love with.
For a moment, we were confused about what to do. China has rules about its adoption procedures. Could we approach our child outside the building? Of course, we did. In fact, we walked into the building with her and the two orphanage workers who had brought her, up the front steps, into the elevator and down the hallway to the same office where Laurie, Paul and Hannah had met Ella several hours earlier. Yunhong smiled at us. Inside the office, Mable, one of the orphanage workers, immediately handed her to Lynda, rather than waiting for the official paperwork. Mable handed me a red jacket with the word "boy" on it, shoes, a soft bun in a wrapper as well as the toy and album of our photos that we had sent her. Yunhong ate the bun. She remained quiet and contented in Lynda's arms. She did the same a few minutes later when I held her.
We had questions prepared to ask the orphanage workers. It turns out that one of the women was Mrs. Liu, the orphanage director. Emily translated as I asked questions on the other side of the room from where Lynda and our daughter were sitting. They told me that she rarely gets upset and that food soothes her. She likes to drink from a sippy cup. And she enjoys riding a rocking horse. They also gave me a schedule of her daily activities and food interests, handwritten in Mandarin and English. We've been told that some caretakers rush out of the room within minutes. We not only got to ask every question we had, but also had the personalized schedule, which would be useful and a wonderful memento.
They told me that they call her "Hong-Hong." We had decided to call her Dani Yun Grossman after my father, Daniel or Danny. We'll be using Yun as her middle name to retain some of her Chinese heritage. I suspect we'll be using "Hong-Hong" occasionally the next few days so she hears something familiar.
Back in our hotel room, we got to know her. She remained contented, calm and happy. She smiled at us. And when she got upset, it lasted only a few seconds, either a subdued cry or squirming. When we played the Chinese lullabies we had brought with us, she looked in the direction of the music. She loved the plastic stacking cups we brought for her, never seeming to get bored playing with them. I fed her Goldfish crackers one by one. When I thought she'd ate enough, she reached for more. It was difficult to believe that a 22-pound girl could eat so many. She didn't walk and she struggled to stand. She was tiny for her age. And she didn't make many sounds. But we knew to expect developmental delays, a common occurrence for most orphanage children. We put her to sleep and she slept through the night.
We wondered whether we had adopted a dream child. She instantly seemed comfortable with us. She didn't cry. She seemed to eat and drink normally. And she allowed us to hold her from the first moment, without even a whimper of protest. Our biggest concern was that she was too calm for a child whose entire life had changed in an instant.
Our pediatrician, the mother of three adopted Chinese girls, warns prospective adoptive parents that the experience is like a blind date. There's no way to know how the child will react to her new parents or even whether the reports we'd received about her were accurate. So we prepared for the worst and hoped for the best. It turns out that we'd gotten far more than we had hoped for.
Today's photos are two family portraits -- one taken by Laurie 15 minutes after we first met Dani; the other taken an hour later for the official government documents. Notice in the official photo that the background is red, China's national color.
This is Paul VanGenderen, his four-year-old daughter Hanna, left, and his nearly two-year-old daughter Ella minutes after Ella met her new family.
DAY FIVE / DANI'S ROOTS
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 -- Taiyuan to Datong:
Our adoption is official! Under Chinese law, Dani became our daughter this morning.
The law requires a 24-hour trial period. So we headed back to the Civil Affairs Office and signed at least a dozen documents and pressed our thumb prints to them in red ink. It's dfficult to believe that, if these were American legal documents, they'd be valid. Some had only Mandarin on them. How can a document be valid if the signer doesn't understand them? But we had Dani now, and that's all that mattered. During this time, Dani had one of her first moments of fussiness. She needed to give her handprint for a document, and she resisted. My understanding is that most of the rest of our trip, at least from a legal standpoint, is dealing with paperwork to get Dani out of China and into the United States.
Earlier, before we left our hotel, Lynda already seemed like she'd been a mother for years when it came to dressing and feeding Dani. In contrast, I accidentally poured milk down Dani's shirt three minutes after we had dressed her in the morning. Dani didn't even complain.
After finishing at the Civil Affairs Office, we climbed back into our van for the ride to Datong, Dani's birthplace, because the city briefly required our presence for some more paperwork. We planned to take advantage of this trip to visit her orphanage. And we got an unexpected bonus. Her orphanage director, Liu Chunlan, and orphanage employee Feng Lihua, also known as Mable, needed a ride back to Datong, so we took an advantage of this time to ask more questions. We also learned information about two children who remain in the orphanage. Two families who are adopting these children -- who are hungering for more information about them -- asked Lynda to find out what she could. The orphanage employees gave us a few details to pass on to the families.
It was a nearly four-hour drive in the van, with our guide, Emily, our driver, Mr. Tweet, and the two orphanage employees. This was Dani's second long drive in two days, but she didn't express any impatience. In fact, I think we could have made the ride with no restroom stops. On the six-lane divided highway, we passed rocky, barren mountains about the size of those in Vermont. We also passed at least three nuclear power plants.
The orphanage is on the outskirts of Datong, a city with three million people, the second-largest in Shanxi Province. It's a series of clean, modern-looking buildings. The place was quiet. We took as much video and as many photos as we could here, so Dani could learn as much as possible about the earliest days of her life. We have a series of photos of Lynda, Dani and me with the orphanage in the background. Inexplicably, we saw only one child in the 15 minutes we spent here, a toddler who sprinted out of a room before an employee caught up to him. Dani lived on the second floor of one of buildings. The orphanage director escorted us to Dani's floor but did not allow us to walk down the hallway to visit the room Dani had shared with dozens of other children. We viewed the hallway from a stairwell. I gave our camcorder to an employee, who shot video showing about 30 empty cribs in the room. We had prepared for the visit by asking Welcome House, our adoption agency, how to handle it. We worried that Dani might think we were bringing her back there. But Dani showed no reaction to being there.
Thanks again for the wonderful notes you've been sending to us.
We hope to send more photos soon.
Dani's first words in English: "Phillies in five games!"
DAY SIX / SHE'S SO SWEET
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 -- Datong to Taiyuan:
This morning, we boarded the van for our return trip to Taiyuan. Leaving Datong, we noticed lots of construction of bridges, roads and buildings. The sky was clear blue, with better air quality than we expected. We also noticed that Datong is a more orderly city than Taiyuan. Motorists -- mixed with pedestrians, cyclists and animal-drawn carts -- actually observe traffic signals here. In Taiyuan, traffic lights are virtually ignored.
Dani remained pleasant during the four-hour ride, smiling and laughing at us from time to time. She's an extraordinarily sweet girl. When she gets upset, she seems to have a good reason. And she's easy to soothe.
But we're concerned: She hasn't pooped. That could be because of the anxiety that can come from the huge change in her life and because orphanage workers are known to cause constipation in babies, to make their long rides easier on the way to meet their parents.
After we returned to Taiyuan, Paul and I took a taxi to a supermarket. Until now, most of our interactions with Chinese folks have occurred with our guides, making our trip easier but lacking what's, to me, a fascinating aspect of foreign travel: struggling to communicate and function in a foreign land -- and succeeding. Paul and I quickly found most of the groceries and supplies we needed, but we had trouble finding Cheerios for Dani. So I asked an employee. Fifteen minutes later, after a half-dozen employees tried to understand my request and a half-dozen customers gathered around to gaze at the spectacle, we left the store without the Cheerios.
Instead, I bought wontons. Before this trip, we were concerned about how to feed Dani because, other than the usual problems in feeding a child, especially one we'd never met, ours has a cleft lip and palate. But she has eaten everything we've given her, including the wontons.
Happy Halloween! Dani is wearing Halloween socks today.
Here are five photos. The only one that needs an explanation is the double image of Lynda and Dani; Dani is looking at herself in a mirror.
DAY SEVEN / WALKING AND TALKING
Thursday, October 29, 2009 -- Taiyuan:
We've seen remarkable changes in the three days we've known Dani:
-- She struggled to stand her first couple days with us. Now she's walking, though she looks like she's drunk. Lynda: "She walks the way I ski."
-- She barely uttered a sound her first couple days with us. Now she babbles quite a bit. And she cries vigorously when she's upset, but not for more than 20 to 30 seconds.
Even though her walking and talking is new to us, we suspect she'd been doing it before we met her. A new home can shock babies into temporarily regressing.
She's still sleeping through the night, though she spends an hour or two resisting now.
And for those of you who've wondered and worried about her constipation: She pooped today -- with a little help from her mother.
Not many people know about my songwriting ability. So far, I've written three songs for Dani and have been singing them to her. A sampling of lyrics: "Hello, Dani, well hello Dani, it's so nice to have you here where you belong," "Oh, what a beautiful daughter, oh, what a beautiful day," and "Dani Girl." Though I'm reluctant to admit it, I think she likes "Row, row, row your boat" better.
This morning, we went to the Shanxi Province Museum with our guide, Emily, as well as Paul, Laurie, Hanna and Ella. We stayed for about an hour. We know it wasn't a good choice for young children.
For dinner, we went to a great Korean restaurant. Several waitresses took Dani to the other side of the restaurant to look at fish in an aquarium. Dani seemed comfortable with them. She seems comfortable with almost anyone. But when Lynda walked over, Dani smiled and reached for her.
Today's photos are Lynda and Dani outside the museum, and Elliot carrying Dani for the first time in a carrier.
DAY EIGHT / OUR FOURTH CHINESE CITY
Friday, October 30, 2009 -- Taiyuan and Guangzhou:
We started the day at a children's park, a few blocks from our hotel in Taiyuan, with Laurie, Paul, Hanna and Ella. Dozens of people stared at us as we made our way to the park. In the park, a man, then a woman, gave Dani more than the usual amount of attention and admiration, spending about 10 minutes with us. The elderly woman even played catch with Hanna, and called Dani "very beautiful." We think the video and audio we recorded of these interactions will be some of our most cherished mementoes of this trip.
Meanwhile, we can look endlessly at our daughter -- when she's struggling to walk, when she's playing with her stacking cups, when she's sleeping. Everything she does is fascinating. We're sure we're the first parents who have ever had these feelings.
In the afternoon, we boarded a jet for Guangzhou. It was Dani's first flight, as far as we know. She slept for the takeoff and she was calm for the landing. But she cried a few times during the 2 1/2-hour flight.
We arrived in the city of Guangzhou, the last stop on our journey, with its Florida-like weather. All American families who are adopting Chinese children are required to come here. The U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou is the only one in China that handles travel paperwork for families heading to the United States with their new Chinese children. That practice arose after the Cantonese, who live in this part of China, started heading to the United States in the 1800s to work on the Transcontinental Railroad and needed travel approval. Families from most other nations who are adopting Chinese children end their trips in Beijing, where their nations' embassies are located.
We checked into the White Swan Hotel, which overlooks the Pearl River on Shamian Island. The White Swan Hotel is lengendary among American families adopting Chinese children. Most of them stay at this beautiful high-rise hotel, which is near the U.S. consulate.
Here are two photos. The first is us in the children's park. From left: Laurie, the Chinese man who admired our children, Elliot and Dani, and the Chinese woman who chatted with us in her limited English. The second photo is Elliot holding Dani while waiting for the flight to take off.
DAY NINE / AN AMAZING SIGHT
Saturday, October 31, 2009 -- Guangzhou:
In this foreign land with its ancient 6,000-mile wall, we saw yet another spectacular sight this morning: A hotel dining room with a couple dozen American families, each with a Chinese baby.
Most were girls, one or two years old, in high chairs. A few were boys. For most, it was their first child. Others had older brothers and sisters, who came along for the trip. A few couples brought grandparents. The newly enlarged U.S. families enjoyed the huge buffet of food, with business travelers at nearby tables, looking out at the boats on the Pearl River and the city's skyline.
Dani continued her quest to break a world record for eating. She ate food from the buffet, including French toast with syrup, bananas and apples. It wouldn't be until tonight that we would find a food she didn't like: broccoli.
At breakfast, we also met up with more of our Welcome House traveling companions -- Janis and Bill Sanders from Blue Bell, Pennsylvania, their six-year-old Chinese daughter, Ella, and 21-month-old Sylvie, who seemed like she'd been part of the family for months, instead of just days. Yes, there are two Ellas in our small group now.
Today's major activity was a medical exam required by U.S. law. We entered a bustling medical clinic, with about one-half of it devoted to adopted children. A dozen or so other American families were there. A series of doctors in a series of rooms examined Dani, and she cried at times. A doctor distracted her with a tamborine with a Chinese drawing on it. As we left his exam room, we accidentally left with the tamborine. When we tried to return it to the doctor, he motioned that we should let Dani keep it.
Another doctor told us through a translator that Dani does not have a cleft palate, despite the medical report we'd received months earlier that she has a cleft lip and a cleft palate. Another said she weighs 21 pounds. We heard later that they told Laurie and Paul that Ella weighs 25 pounds. None of us could believe that Dani and Ella had only a four-pound difference. Despite being about the same age, Dani is tiny and Ella is large. If Chinese medical personnel can't even weigh our children accurately, I certainly don't believe anything else they've told us.
Lynda had to leave Dani and me for a couple hours to deal with paperwork. Dani and I explored the hotel room and hallway. I taught her how to play the tamborine. She cried for a few minutes when she hit her head. So I took her for a walk and, within minutes, she was calm again. Her pants kept falling down because Lynda had guessed at the size before we left Ohio. Dani tried to pull them up a few times -- without success. So I took them off her. I fed her the soft buns she loves so much. Then, I put her in her crib for an afternoon nap. She fell asleep quickly.
Today's photo shows Dani with her new tamborine and a stacking cup.
DAY TEN / WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Sunday, November 1, 2009 -- Guangzhou:
We've met other American adoptive families throughout the hotel, learning their children's ages, their native provinces, their developmental delays and how they're coping with their new surroundings and families. These families are from throughout the United States, including Puerto Rico.
One place we've seen many of the families is the hotel's play room for kids. It has a soft floor, padded walls and plenty of American-type toys. Dani spent two hours there today and never seemed bored. We were impressed that she shared toys with other children.
Dani loves to laugh. Sometimes, we don't know why she's laughing. Sometimes, it's because we're making funny faces at her. Today, it was because Lynda was running in place to amuse her. Dani laughed hysterically.
Our group went to Yuntai Garden, a city park at the foothills of the Baiyun Mountains. It has about 20 acres of neatly manicured gardens, including rose bushes. We mingled with Chinese folks enjoying the sunny hot weather. We admired the Chinese families' children and they admired ours.
Today's photo is Dani in her stroller in the park's green house.
DAY 11 / A BLESSING
Monday, November 2, 2009 -- Guangzhou:
We're celebrating our first week with Dani, discovering what we believe to be her true personality. She's curious, playful and pleasant. But she can be feisty, especially when it's bedtime. Put her into her crib and, at first, she'll cry. Take her out, hold her, walk with her up and down the hotel hallway, look out the windows with her at the glitzy Guangzhou skyline, let her play with toys and, just an hour or two later, she'll be ready for sleep. But it's not as bad as it seems: She has slept throughout the night every night she's been with us.
With the passage of time, we've come to realize that our first two days with Dani, when she was so passive and quiet, must have been related to the shock that came from being thrust into a new environment. She withdrew, barely uttering a sound, barely resisting anything. By contrast, in her own way of protesting Ella, cried long and loud for days.
Today, Lynda bought Chinese "squeaky shoes" for Dani. Everytime Dani takes a step, we can hear the cute pink shoes squeak. They're hysterically funny, especially because she waddles when she walks. And I can see the potential: When we take her into a crowd, we'll know her whereabouts. And Dani seems to like them.
This afternoon, we went to the Temple of Six Banyan Trees, a 1,400-year-old complex for Zen Buddhists. From the outside, the main building, a pagoda, appears to be nine stories. But it's actually 17 stories on the inside. A buddhist monk said a blessing for our children, sprinkling what seemed to be holy water on them, while three copper Buddhist statues towered over them.
Today's photos are Lynda and Dani seen through an incense burner at the temple, and Dani in the playroom at the White Swan Hotel.
DAY 12 / NO STOPPING US NOW
Tuesday, November 3, 2009 -- Guangzhou:
In what seemed to be just another office building in Guangzhou, we cleared another hurdle: getting approval from the U.S. government to bring Dani into the United States.
Processing of immigrant visas had moved from the main U.S. Consulate building in Guangzhou, near the Swan Hotel, to this building a 15-minute drive away. The building had no signs indicating the U.S. government has offices inside. We suspect that’s for security reasons.
With about two dozen families, each with a Chinese child, we went through metal detectors and had our belongings screened with X-ray machines. Our cameras were prohibited.
We entered a waiting room, with about 100 chairs, in front of a half-dozen windows with thick glass. A banner hung from the ceiling: “The U.S. Consulate Guangzhou joins your family in celebrating your adoption. Congratulations!!”
We waited to be called by a clerk. When it was our turn, Lynda held Dani on a metal shelf in front of a clerk. The clerk compared Dani’s face to the photo in her Chinese passport. This is the passport we’d been given for Dani in Taiyuan.
The red passport has her nation of origin on the cover: People’s Republic of China. Her U.S. immigrant visa is inside. Soon, she would have the same rights and privileges of all U.S. citizens, except one: She could not be president of the United States, unless I managed to persuade a heck of a lot of people to change the U.S. Constitution. Well, there’s still time.
While waiting for a brief ceremony, Dani played in the back of the room where the State Department had created a play area. Then a State Department employee started speaking. She acknowledged three November birthdays of the adopted children, and the families cheered. It was a nice touch, considering it came from a bureaucracy that had required us to endure so much red tape for four years.
The employee asked all of the parents to raise our right hands. Paul, Laurie and Hanna stood to our left. We learned later that Ella, who was in Laurie’s arms, raised her right hand, too.
Lynda cradled Dani in her left arm, and we recited this oath: “I do solemnly swear or affirm that all of the information that I have provided to the United States government on behalf of my adopted child with respect to the adoption and immigrant visa application is true and correct to the best of my knowledge and ability.”
We could have considered this a routine approval, but we had tears in our eyes. We knew there was little that could stop us now from bringing Dani home.
Today’s photos are the traditional photos taken of adopted Chinese children on a red couch at the White Swan Hotel after their visas are approved. I don’t know the origin of this tradition. From left are Ella VanGenderen, soon to be of Burlington County, NJ; Sylvie Sanders, soon to be of Blue Bell, Pennsylvania; and Dani. Yes, Dani is wearing her squeaky shoes. The second photo includes their older sisters, from left, Hanna VanGenderen, and Ella Sanders.
DAY 13 / THE ESSENTIALS
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 -- Guangzhou:
This was our last day in China, and we headed to the Guangzhou zoo. Dani paid little attention to the animals. She seems to be an alert and curious child, so we can’t explain the indifference to the animals.
Tonight, we ate the most exotic meal of our trip. The Cantonese restaurant was only across the street from our hotel, but it was quite an adventure. Pigeon and eel were among the foods we ate. The pigeon was OK but I couldn’t eat a second bite of the eel. There was another dish on the menu that was a surprise to all of us: Jew’s Ear. We didn’t order it but our research later revealed it to be an edible fungus commonly eaten in Asian cultures. The name might have its origins in the Middle Ages when mushrooms and fungus were known as Jews Meat. The name might also be a reference to Judas who reportedly hung himself from an elder tree. Jew’s Ear often grows on elder trees.
At dinner, Ella VanGenderen seemed more adjusted to her new life. The biggest change had occurred a few days earlier when we checked into the White Swan Hotel. She had cried every time Laurie or Paul brought her into their room at the Taiyuan hotel. But she seemed happier in Guangzhou. At dinner, she smiled and played games with Lynda by imitating her facial expressions.
As we finished packing, we reminded ourselves that, if we missed anything, only three things were essential: Dani’s Chinese passport with her immigrant visa inside, the mysterious sealed brown envelope containing her medical report and Dani.
Today’s photo is Dani, Lynda and Elliot in front of bamboo at the zoo.
DAY 14 / HEADING HOME
Thursday, November 5, 2009 -- Guangzhou to Shanghai to Newark to Loveland, Ohio:
We awoke before dawn and headed to the Guangzhou airport. We would take three flights. And before each flight, we had to pass through security screening and re-check our bags – with a 22-month-old girl in our arms.
Considering the lengths of the flights, Dani did extraordinarily well. She squirmed, slept and ate her way across the Pacific Ocean, over northern Canada and into New Jersey.
In such tight spaces, eating was difficult. With Dani in her arms, Lynda fed Dani most of the time. And I fed Lynda.
We had a smooth landing at Newark and headed for the immigration line. An immigration officer reviewed Dani’s documents. The officer stamped Dani’s passport: “Admitted, November 5, 2009.” No trumpets blared, no champagne bottles popped, no cameras flashed, but this was a momentous moment: Dani was now a U.S. citizen. And she had slept through it all.
Dani’s Chinese passport will not be used again. She’s no longer a Chinese citizen. Instead, it will be a nice memento. We’ll get her a U.S. passport.
When most people say, it’s been a “long day,” they’re exaggerating. A day can only have 24 hours. But we literally had about a 29-hour day because we had crossed 12 time zones. We had left the hotel at 7 am Thursday China time and arrived home 11:30 am Friday China time. Except that it was 11:30 pm Thursday Ohio time. (I might be off by an hour; the daylight savings change occurred in the U.S. while we were in China, and I’m confused.)
At 21 months of age, Dani had traveled 8,000 miles in one day. I’ve done a fair amount of traveling, but I’d only traveled that far once before: Two weeks earlier on the trip to China.
We arrived home to a dark, quiet neighborhood. We could see balloons on our mailbox, and scarlet and grey balloons (the Ohio State colors) tied to my Penn State flag. Inside, two handmade posters hung from our kitchen ceiling: Welcome Home, Dani, they read. Each of our neighbors had sketched an outline of his or her hand and had written his or her name inside the handprint.
Dani seemed immediately at home. She played with a toy telephone on the kitchen floor, as if she had played there hundreds of times before. But getting her to sleep calmly in her crib would take a few days, some patience and some ingenuity.
We don’t have photos today. We’ll have plenty of new photos to share soon.
THE DAYS AFTER / RAISING DANI
Friday to Monday, November 6 to 9, 2009 -- Loveland, Ohio:
The first few days at home have been joyous, of course. But they’ve also been difficult.
Between the colds we caught the last few days in China, our ambitious travel schedule and the 12-hour time difference, we’ve struggled to get ourselves into a routine. Mostly, during our first few days home, we slept during the day and carried on with life at night. But on Monday, we may have turned the corner. We had breakfast, lunch and dinner at relatively typical times.
Every time we’ve emerged from the house these last few days – and that hasn’t been often -- neighbors have gathered around us. Folks seem happy that we’re home. Or maybe they’re just glad to meet Dani. Either way, we’re lucky to have such great neighbors.
As I took Dani for her first stroller ride, I realized the tires were flat. That’s what happens when the stroller sits in our basement unused for two years. I didn’t even know it had inflatable tires. But once again, neighbor Sean Mastin came to the rescue and filled up the tires. Dani seemed to enjoy the ride.
With no prompting from us, Dani climbed the stairs to our second floor, following Lynda. She follows Lynda just about everywhere. Later the same night, she climbed the stairs again, then came down the stairs, though the reverse direction was more difficult.
In some ways, it seems as if we’ve been a family forever. But we’re still getting to know each other. And I don’t mean that we’re just getting to know Dani and she’s getting to know us. I’ve seen Lynda turn from a wonderful wife into a wonderful mother as well, with no apparent learning curve. And I’m confirming what I already knew about myself – that I have a lot to learn about being a father and something to offer as well.
This is the last installment of our journal. We thank you for reading. We also thank you for your emails. We’ve read all of them, even though we haven’t have time to reply to everyone. Many of you -- with your own busy lives -- have gone out of your way to help us. If we haven’t already thanked you, we will.
Now that we’re no longer subject to the censorship of the Chinese government, we have regained access to our website and expect to update it in the next couple of weeks. We’ll post our daily journal entries from China – which you’ve already seen -- and we’ll post photos that you haven’t seen.
Now comes the best part – raising our beautiful, curious, energetic daughter.
Stay in touch,
Elliot, Lynda and Dani
Today’s photos are Lynda and Dani entering our house after the 29-hour trip, and Lynda and Dani in front of half of our Welcome Home sign.